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He Came Out on Big Brother, Then Said He's Not Sure. That's Allowed

He came out on national TV, then admitted he hadn't figured it out yet. Why 'not sure' is a valid answer, what the numbers say about bi men, and how to stop spiraling.

November 6, 2026 · Updated November 6, 2026 at 7:01 AM PST · 5 min read

Dark-haired man in a cream polo and chinos leaning against a stone wall on a quiet city street, looking thoughtful

He Came Out on Live TV. The Hard Part Came After

Picture the most public way to say something you have barely said to yourself. Not a quiet text to your best friend. A camera in a reality-TV Diary Room, with the whole country listening. That is roughly what Big Brother UK housemate Frankie Taber did this fall. He came out as bisexual on the show, according to PinkNews. Then, after a surprise backdoor eviction, he said the quiet part out loud. He still was not sure. He wasn't confused. He was honest. Those are not the same thing.

The Diary Room Confession That Started a Group Chat War

Here is the timeline, as PinkNews reported it. At the start of the series, Frankie said he had recently split from his girlfriend. In September, he came out as bisexual in the Diary Room. Later, he said he was still with her, told some housemates he was bi, and also said he would never be with a man. The internet did what the internet does. Fans got confused. Some decided he was playing a game. Because apparently every man must arrive at his sexuality like a finished IKEA dresser: fully assembled, zero leftover screws, instructions recycled. Then came the post-eviction twist.

“You don't owe anyone a label before you've met yourself.” — NOCTI

The Line That Made Everyone Stop Scrolling

Talking on the spin-off show Big Brother: The Group Chat, hosted by GK Barry and Kate Lawler, Frankie explained what was going on in his head. "I didn't know after I come out, what was going to be the case, whether I was going to be gay, bi, whatever," he said, according to PinkNews. And the line that should be printed on a tote bag: "I haven't come to terms with it yet." He also said he had already told his girlfriend before the show. His real fear, he said, wasn't the whole world. It was friends of friends and people from his area. He described carrying a lot of shame about it, and said that coming out on TV actually made it easier and cleared some of that shame away. Think about that. A national broadcast felt safer than the local gossip mill. That tells you everything about where the pressure actually lives.

Plot Twist: Bi Is the Biggest Letter in the Alphabet

If being bi or bi-curious still feels like a rare, niche situation, the numbers would like a word. Gallup reported in February 2026 that 9% of U.S. adults identify as LGBTQ+, based on 2025 interviews with 13,454 adults. The largest share of that group is bisexual: 58.6% of LGBTQ+ adults, or about 5% of all U.S. adults. Among adults under 30, Gallup found 23% identify as LGBTQ+. So the man in your office, your gym, or your group chat who has not said anything yet? Statistically, he is not alone. He might just be quiet.

Why Bi Guys Stay in the Group Chat Closet

Quiet is the pattern, especially for bi men. In a 2025 Pew Research Center survey of 3,959 LGBTQ adults, 12% of bisexual men said they had not told anyone about their sexual orientation, compared with 2% of bisexual women. Only 24% of bi men said they first came out to someone by age 18, versus 50% of bi women. Pew also found that 47% of bisexual adults are not out to any of their extended family, compared with 13% of gay or lesbian adults. Bi men get it from both sides. Straight friends hear "phase." Some gay friends hear "halfway out." Fans on the internet hear "plot device." No wonder plenty of guys keep it in the drafts folder.

NOCTI's take: "Whatever" Is a Valid Answer

We love a man who knows exactly what he wants. We also love a man who admits he is still figuring it out, because that takes more nerve. A label is a tool, not a contract. You can pick one up, try it on, and swap it later. Nobody gets a refund on their dignity for changing their mind. And to the commenters demanding a final answer from a reality-TV housemate: the only person owed that answer is him, on his own schedule.

Not Sure Either? Here's the Low-Drama Game Plan

If Frankie's words hit a little close to home, here is a calm way through, no spiral required. 1. Drop the deadline. Your feelings do not expire if you don't name them by Friday. Notice who you are drawn to, emotionally and physically, and let the pattern show up over time. 2. Use labels as drafts. Gay, bi, queer, "not sure yet" and "whatever" are all allowed. The right word is the one that makes you feel more like yourself, not more watched. 3. Tell one safe person first. Not the group chat. One friend, sibling or counselor who has earned it. Frankie's story shows the people closest to home can feel scarier than a TV audience, so start where you feel safest. 4. Be honest with partners. If you are in a relationship, an honest conversation on your own timing beats a reveal someone else forces on you. 5. Find your people. LGBTQ+ community centers, sports leagues and online groups are full of men who were exactly this unsure once. Seeing them doing fine is half the cure for the shame.

“Find the friends who love your rough draft, not just the final version.” — NOCTI

The Takeaway

You don't need a final answer to deserve respect, including your own. When you are ready to take care of the rest of you, from a fresh cut to a recovery massage, find men-welcoming pros who get it at joinnocti.com/discover.

SourcesPinkNews, PinkNews +2 more

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